Other than humanity’s standing with God, what relationship was first rocked by their sin? The union between Adam and Eve. And what has resulted for millennia, is a faulty approach to the marriage relationship ever since. Not to say that some haven’t gotten it right. But I believe that the world, and even many in the church, have been getting it wrong for centuries. That stems from a wrong reading of the text. If you trace our history back you will see sermons telling the women to stay in their place and to follow their men. Even in America, women faced oppression for nearly all of our existence, much of which was justified using faulty interpretations of God’s design. The Bible itself is full of examples of how men and women screw things up. Let’s read over the wives and husbands commissions found in Ephesians five in light of the garden events from Genesis 2 and 3.
“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.”
Ephesians 5:22-24 ESV
Some misconceptions can be traced back to Genesis 3 where God is pronouncing the consequences of sin. We can view Ephesians 5 as a call back to a pre-fall relationship. The first big misconception is in the terms of the “wives submit” terminology. The word submit used here is idios in greek. This means to treat as one’s self. Literally unite with. This is never once used to denote an inferior position. In fact let’s look at the origins of Eve. She is described as a “help meet” ( Gen 2:18&20). The word ezer, (Strong’s concordance #5828) means a shield, a form a saving. God is described often as an ezer. So that’s the pre-fall purpose for wives. That’s the intent of God. For wives to be united with husbands, to be one with them, to walk along side them (not under or behind them) to help shield them and be an essential role in the mission of God.
The post fall narrative, on the other hand, is much different (Genesis 3:16-17). We see the words ruling and desire used in this portion of Genesis. Both are prescribed in the midst of negative consequences from Adam and Eves actions. Nowhere does it alude to this being God’s plan or ideal. To say that, would be like saying God wanted brokenness and screwed ip relationships. If anything, the context of these verses makes it apparent that it is opposite of how God designed things. The next time this word for desire is used its to describe sin’s desire for Cain.
Can you think of examples when women and men from the Bible showed this fallen narrative? Times women subverted and disrespected or preyed on men. How about Rebecca and Sarah? Times men ruled as jerks and treated woman like animals? Maybe Isaac and Abraham? These relationships, while containing some good elements, were not models to follow, but illustrations of the brokenness of the fall. If anything, God was heartbroken over this.
Ephesians 5 is a picture of the reality of God’s design, opposite of that of the Genesis 3 fall motif. Wives are designed as an ezer, or defense, shield, life-giver, unified with her husband. Not a submissive, second-rate counterpart to do her husband’s bidding.
Now let’s address husbands.
“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church,”
Ephesians 5:25-29 ESV
Husbands, also, are meant to lead, not as Genesis 3 states, but as Christ does. As a servant, in humility. Ephesians 5 uses the comparison of washing the bride with the word. Looking back at Genesis, Adam should have intervened when the serpent was twisting God’s words. Adam, by all accounts, was there, being passive, and not leading. He was also flattered and deceived by the serpent. He was meant to be a guardian, a shepherd, in pursuit of God’s mission. And so are men today.
Ephesians five uses some powerful words to define husband’s role. It says for husbands to love, give themselves up for, to cherish, and to nourish. If Adam had done that, the serpent would have lost his head that day. The leadership of men is a selfless leadership. It is wholehearted leadership. The leadership of a husband seeks Christ first and the heart of his wife second. The husband must lead from his knees not from a pedestal. My how world history would be different if men actually did that. -Men, we must be committed to seeing our wives thrive just as Christ seeks that for His bride. If Christ’s love and commitment to His bride is our example for loving our brides, then we have to step it up. And we do that by surrendering more of ourselves to Christ and His leadership in our personal lives.
God obviously doesn’t want us living in the Genesis three story. And we will be opposed. The serpent isn’t gone. The next chapter of Ephesians addresses the spiritual war that still rages on and how we are to fight. Enter Jesus. He is our shield of faith, our breastplate of righteousness, our belt of truth, our helmet of salvation. He came to be our example. He came to crush the serpent. He came to restore right relationships. He came to heal our broken approach to life and to love. He came to impart God’s wisdom. For Jesus is, ““He is the radiance of the glory of God and the exact imprint of his nature, and he upholds the universe by the word of his power…” Hebrews 1:3 ESV and, ““And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image…” 2 Corinthians 3:18 ESV and, ““whoever says he abides in him ought to walk in the same way in which he walked.” 1 John 2:6 ESV
Whether we are single, married, wives, or husbands, our call is to be like Jesus…abiding in Him…unified with Him…and then we will see God’s kingdom come in our homes and in our relationships.
For Common Ground 